I read a very curious diary entry yesterday, which made me think, however briefly, about the motives for publishing 'diaries' online.

The author was basically eulogising how in love they were with their online self and the 'virtual' relationships that person shared with other individuals in the online arena. Now, this on its own is fine, and fair enough. We all become different people when left to consider our thoughts and digest them into meaningful and intelligible commentary (although tis isn't the universal language through which diaries are shared). What irked me somewhat, however, was the reason for the joyous ejaculation of back slapping.

This person, who shall remain anonymous, as there is a chance they are reading this and will take offence at my perception of them, was happilly endorsing their view that when online, they could ignore all the bad things in life and allow themselves to come across as pretty much faultless and clean to their audience. They went on (at some length, and I admit it became a struggle to read it all) about how the mundanity of ordinary existence could be left behind, quoting our favourite odourous bodily functions and excretions as examples of what need not be mentioned in the online portrait of self.

This confused me. It occurs to me now that there are several types of diary. Well, at least three. Firstly, as you would expect, is the traditional diary. We all know and loathe the people looking simply to document the happenings of their monotonous and dreary lives, for some reason expecting the rest of the world to care. Fair enough. If nothing else, you've got a record of what you've gone through that you can look back on some day. The second type you're reading now. Somebody has something to say, or something they need to get out of their system. They gather their thoughts, and post it as well as they're able online. It can be pleonasmic bilious raving, like mine, or a quiet voice pointing out something the rest of us might have missed. Some get people angry, others stir up debate. I'll leave you to decide which you believe this qualifies as.

But now it appears we have a third category, and I'm at a loss as to a solid classification for it. By taking the best of what you are and ignoring the reality of yourself, for the sake of an online audience, what is it you think you are achieving? This is a level of vanity and self-absorption I had thought was restricted to the cyber-kids of the late nineties, the uber-gamers of the 21st century who try as hard as they can to convince the world they're better people than they really are because the reality isn't expected to cut the mustard. Oh you're not lying about yourself, just omitting some of the truth, a few of the finer details you'd rather people didn't know about you. Me, I don't see the point. What do you gain from this deceipt? A few people online think you're interesting and engage in conversation. Do you really think they wouldn't speak to you if they knew you weren't perfect? I like to judge people, it's what I do best, but that assumption is a damning statement of anyone's view of mankind.

The internet doesn't turn as all into Jesus. We don't logon and become cleansed to the bone, removed of sin and prepared for the Ascension. We're only human, and it is our faults that make us that much. Perfection is an illusion, and an unsustainable one in the long-term. Perfection is also pretty fucking boring. Give me faults, troubles, issues and quirks. Give me bad habits, wrong decisions and the problems haunting you after what you did last time you got stupidly drunk. Give me the infantile whinging because life isn't treating you the way you once hoped, and the red-faced screaming that comes from a frustration borne of the complicity of modern life. It makes you more interesting. It makes you more human.

If you want to wallow in your safe little box of white-walled security, go ahead. If that level of escapism is what you need to get away from the mediocrity of your life outside the network, then get on with it. Just don't start gobbing off on how amazing your life is when you're online, because you know what?

IT'S ALL FUCKING FAKE!

It doesn't exist - it's not real at all. You made it up. At the end of your happy session chewing on the bone of flawless magnanimity, you have to go back to the life that disgusts you so much you have to pretend it doesn't exist. I, meanwhile, go back to my life having thought through the issues I face, and am that little bit better equipped to manage them as a result.

But each to their own, eh?

IB

1 message(s) of denial

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Insane Bartender - 2006-08-02 03:41:23

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