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The Great Metaphor

Ever had someone step in front of you in the street and just stop, making you walk right into them? Your path is interrupted, and you have to walk around because, despite now being fully aware of the fact that they're in the way, they have no intention of moving. Sure, in turn, they're inconvenienced by you walking into them, but that's largely irrelevant, because it's their own fault for stopping abruptly on a busy street to do something inane and vacuous, such as stare at the sky and point at the increasing amount of cloud cover, or even just stop moving altogether, a look of intense concentration on their faces as they wonder if they're actually going in the right direction in the first place.

I've had to move around such people a great many times. Each time unleashes a surge of adrenalin fuelled rage into my bloodstream. It takes effort not to immediately resort to physically removing the individual(s) from my path, inflicting as much permanent harm as possible on the way. Why, I hear you ask, does the simple action of stopping in the street engender such powerful hatred in me every time it happens? To understand this, you have to understand what these people are willfully doing when they decide to pause their movements.

They don't get it that they're in the way of people who know where they're going. They don't get that their lack of purpose, or ill-considered decision to alter the pattern of their movements without warning is a problem for everyone moving around them. More than this, they expect the world around them simply to compensate for the fact that they just can't go with the flow like the majority of 'ordinary' people walking the street with them. Because they can't perform the simple function of picking a direction and moving in it without reserving the option to stop and cause ripples in the tide of human traffic, everyone else has to compensate for their stupidity.

The inconvenience of having to move around an object that has caused obstruction through inanity, insensitivity and a lack of general consideration into their actions, is a metaphor for everything that is wrong with modern society.

The stupid, the uninitiated, the philistines and the oafish plebeian morons that randomly litter the surface of this planet like a rapidly spreading and highly irritable rash, the one's you read about in the Darwin Awards, the incomprehensible morons that manage to injure themselves in the safest and most secure of environments, the foul and putrid dregs of the human gene pool that are simply incapable of conforming to any reasonable form of society. These are the elements that society itself should be casting aside, ruling out as an abomination, an accidental eructation from the bowels of the gene regurgitating process known as evolution.

Instead we extend a helping hand to the destructive force of their outrageous stupidity. We allow them to exist alongside us through the immolation of our shared freedoms. We fetter the world with the strangling ropes of legislation that increasingly cause the more astute to smack their palms against their foreheads in dismay.

We're slowly wrapping the human race in cotton wool to allow for the fact that a great number of us aren't as good as we should be. That we do this in the name of freedom itself is both ironic and incomprehensibly tragic.

But let me ask you this. Say there is a factory that produces stuffed dolls. 60% of the dolls come out normal, the other 40 come out with at least one of a number of defects. Missing stitching, loose buttons or mal-coloured fabric etc. Rather than tossing these rejects aside, and working to correct the manufacturing process, the factory then forces 100% of the product onto the market, where the consumer is forced to pay for an item, regardless of whether it is well formed, or literally coming apart at the seams. The consumer has no choice but to buy, because legislation states that they are not allowed to discriminate against the broken dolls.

It brings up questions. Why is the right to choose whether I get a good doll or a bad one taken away from me? Why should I have to tolerate the insufficient process which allowed the doll to be produced in that manner in the first place? Wouldn't it be better for everyone concerned if the bad dolls got thrown away and the factory worked to reduce the amount of wastage?

Modern society is legislating for a world populated by incoherent morons. Personally, I feel we should legislate for a world of able individuals, and anyone who can't keep up gets left behind. Ruthless and unpleasant, perhaps. But it's got to be better than this shit.

IB



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Copyright Insane Bartender 2006-08-24 10:51 a.m.

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