Next
Previous
Older entries
The Year of My Lament
The Melancholeric Epiphany
Sleeping with the Enemy
Stupid Cupid
'Up to 8MB'
M.U.S.T.
Diaryland
My Notes
Write Words
Illiteracy

When you get in your car in the morning, stick the key in the relevant hole and turn, you expect the engine to turn on, as it always does, ready for you to take a drive to work, the shops, or whatever.

Imagine, if you will, somebody who knew so little about cars that when, upon turning the key, the engine did not start, they had absolutely no idea why that might be. You might suppose that your battery is dead, that you're out of petrol or something else. You would suppose these things because it is in your interests to know something about your car for when something goes wrong.

So what of the person who does not know these things? Surely they are a fool, for owning an expensive asset about which they know absolutely nothing other than the basic operation of it. The kind of person perpetually mocked in 'blonde' jokes we see in e-mails every day.

This can apply to more than cars, however. Knowing how to use something isn't enough, because things will always go wrong, and a wise person arms themselves with at least a little knowledge on what to do when something adverse happens. We don't need a full technical knowledge, however, as that's often a career in itself, but when the basics go wrong, we need to know the quick fixes. Cars, plug sockets, microwave ovens, DVD players etc. We all know little bits about what to do when things don't work as we expect.

So why, when it comes to the internet, are so many people as thick as pig-shit? The overwhelmingly vast majority of internet users struggle to navigate web-pages, much less have a working knowledge of what to do when things don't happen as expected. Type something into the nav bar, and hope for the best. Maybe speculatively click a few links, etc.

The people of today have the world at their fingertips, and yet, metaphorically speaking, they rarely venture beyond their own back yards. Why is this? Why can people not understand that the internet is like anything else? Imagine buying a car because it had all the latest gadgets, including things like air-con/heating, convertable roof, electric windows, 10-disc CD player and all the other mod-cons, and yet only ever using it to drive back and forth to the shops once a week, with the top up, the radio on, the windows up and a driver complaining of being cold. What an idiot, you'd think.

So why do accept that so many people are just as stupid when it comes to using an web browser? Sitting there wondering both why the webpage their looking at is out of date, and also what that funny looking refresh button does. Running out of room on a piece of paper for their favourite sites, oblivious to the favourites facility.

And don't even get me started on HTML. The most basic thing I've ever had to learn, and it goes straight over the heads of 99.99% of everyone I know that browses regularly.

The thought that these morons are allowed to handle their bank balance online scares the living shit out of me. It's no wonder that viruses spread so easily. I mean, seriously, when a suspect e-mail arrives in your inbox do you:

a) Open it, and wonder why your PC crashes, every time you get a suspect e-mail

b) Open one, adopt a once-bitten attitude and be very cautious henceforth with e-mail

c) Take the hint that suspect e-mails = viruses, and just don't open the fucking things

Me, I'm all for option c, and anyone that isn't comes under my big, fat idiot-umbrella.

It amazes me that in the same world where people complain they can't see web pages when they're not even connected to the internet and whinge at support services blaming them for the problem, we're sending rovers to Mars to look for intelligent life.

And right we are too, because there's precious fucking little of it over here.



1 message(s) of denial

Meaghyn - 2004-04-13 17:54:36

I like your analogy. Very true indeed. The same can be said for lots of things, including politics, religon, and over-all life its self. The ratio of self-indulgent power-trippers and Overly-proud moronic assholes out there is no where near it should be. Sense, need it be, common or the latter- well it's just missing in action. I will have to read you further.

======

Copyright Insane Bartender 2004-03-30 3:01 p.m.

e-mail me: Insane Bartender