Why me? Why is it always fucking me? I've finally given up even considering an O2 mobile phone, after the incomprehensibly shitty experience I've had trying to get one over the last few weeks. I just don't understand what the difficulty is, I really don't.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled onto The Link's website, and ordered myself a Motorola V600 (nice!) on O2. Credit check went without hitch, and order was despatched on the 27th of April. So far, so good, but this is where the consumer dream became the nightmare of unfathomable human stupidity.

The courier delivering my phone turns up at the absolutely useless time of about 11am on a weekday. Where am I at 11am on weekdays? That's right, I'm at work. So, I am led to believe, is every fucker else. So why on earth does this thickheaded twat think I'll be there to sign for a package at that time? Anyway, not too much of a problem, as they left a phone number to call to arrange a re-delivery. So I call the (mobile) number, which diverts straight to voicemail, giving instructions on what message to leave. So I leave a message asking for delivery before 8am or after 6pm any day of the week, or at any time over the weekend. Days come and go, and no redelivery hits my doorstep. I call a few more times, but the number always goes straight to voicemail - I can't get anyone to tell me what the fuck is going on.

A few days hence, the courier calls, at 11am, during the week. Am I unjustified in thinking "What the fuck?"? I mean seriously, I fucking told you stupid pricks I wasn't going to be in - several times in fact. So not only have you completely ignored my delivery instructions, but, in a magnificent defiance of reason, you've turned up at my door when you fucking know I'm not going to be there! This is the most profound act of human stupidity I've ever encountered. Furthermore is the calling card saying that the package must now be picked up from a depot in Chessington. How about you fuck off?

Of course, given that the mobile phone itself was free, because of the contract I'd chosen, and that The Link had kindly offered free postage for my phone (which can't charge me anything until I receive and activate it), I've not lost anything by leaving the damn thing in Chessington to rot.

So, ignoring this delivery, and leaving it to fall into the miasmatic wasteland of undelivered mail which amounts to some millions of items every year, I move on in my search for a mobile phone. This time choosing to be a little more direct, I log onto the O2 website, and order the same phone, still free, from them instead. Learning from past mistakes, I decide this time not to skimp on delivery, and opt for the extremely pricey option of next day, before 10am delivery, at �14.99. Can't go wrong.

Can it?

Oh yes it fucking can. After hanging around my house until 10am yesterday, nothing turned up. Being now 2 hours late for work, and losing out on �30 as a result (paid by the hour you see), I was not best pleased about this, and did my utmost to inform O2 of my displeasure. They don't make it easy for you to do this. After browsing their website for some time, it is clear to me that customer complaints are not quite uncommon, and they've taken the measure of hiding their contact details from all but the most determined of plaintiffs. Fortunately, of these I am one, and after much perseverance, I found a customer service hotline. Moments later, I discovered it charged 50p a minute. Excuse me, but what the fucking hell? You have got to be fucking shitting me! Never mind the fact that it further discourages customer feedback, and blatantly rips off inoccent customers simply looking for assistance, but the phones at work have barred the number anyway, leaving me with only one option - the highly dubious e-mail contact system. After spending yet more time searching for this method of contact, I finally manage to send something to them asking where my delivery is, and what they intend to do about my �30 of lost earnings.

The reply I get is priceless. I am told that my order was cancelled because I failed a credit check. The same credit ceck I passed at the end of April when I got the phone from The Link. Questions about my loss of earnings are completely ignored, and it all rounds off to a complete lack of professionalism on the part of the O2 team.

I am absolutely livid with the way these complete incompetents have treated me, I'm furious at my loss of earnings, and the increasing probability that I'll receive no compensation for it, but more than this, I'm fucking pissed of that, given that I ordered a phone back in April, on the 11th of June I still don't have one.

What the fuck does a guy have to do to inject money into this economy? Hello? Hello you fucking pricks? I'm offering a few hundred quid a year to anyone who'll take it, just to have a shitty bit of 10 year old technology sitting in my pocket for emergencies! Any takers? No? WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?!

I need to hit something. I need to break something. Preferably flesh and bone respectively. Mere words cannot do justice to the sheer weight of rage flowing through my veins right now. Damn it all to hell.

1 message(s) of denial

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James - 2004-06-11 09:45:45

Sympathies, bartender. Sympathies...Wax.

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