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Open to Interpretation

There are probably an innumerable amount of issues that have risen and withered in the last few months. None of which I have been so moved by that I felt it necessary to revive this diary - this collection of thoughts - that I might comment on them.

To be honest, until the matter of this diary itself was raised last night, I had pretty much consigned it to history. Perhaps fate enjoys playing a wildcard from time to time?

The topic was raised that certain people who shall remain nameless (not for fear that they might be recognised by someone reading this, but more out of a respect for their mild paranoia in these matters), find what I write here to be somewhat disturbing, and that I am - and I quote - "a bit fucked up".

After due discussion, it transpires that those around me not only fail to understand the gist of what it is I'm writing about, but also that many of those are consistently able to collectively misinterpret much of what these entries are saying as something else entirely.

I'm wondering now if these people actually expect me to care about that. This diary, while ultimately public, is no more than a collection of thoughts which occur to me, or rants I feel I need to let out. Do I care if the person on the opposite screen is not able to divine the correct interpretation of those thoughts?

I really don't.

The misinterpretation of my writing seems to have reached a point where I've been basically accused of contemplating suicide simply because I questioned the value of the life I was currently leading.

Perhaps some of you rely on tabloid press like the Sun for your ability to digest information and use it as the basis for a conclusion. Or are you unconsciously looking for something that isn't there? Maybe you should ask yourself why you read this diary in the first place. I get angry and swear a lot, denouncing pretty much everything as I go, but beyond that, I'm really not that interesting. Certainly not in regards to what I share here.

I've little doubt that this entry itself will rustle a few feathers. But this is little more than a declaration of my intellectual independance from those that might wish to shackle me to their own standards.

Perhaps I've not made it plain enough in the past. I bow to no standards bar those I choose for myself, and even those are open to contradiction, hypocrisy and duplicity, whenever I see fit. Ultimately, I will say what I want to say, how I want to say it, and this is not up for negotiation.

I think I may start writing in this diary again on a regular basis. It's nice to let these things out in the open. It's a good opportunity to be honest with myself, and anyone who feels that reading this adds value to their own existence. So you'll be hearing from me.



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Copyright Insane Bartender 2005-04-21 12:58 p.m.

e-mail me: Insane Bartender