I'm trying to write something with a modicum of wit, but I'm finding it slightly challenging for a number of reasons. Firstly, this is primarily due to the fact that I lack much in the way of wit to begin with, and anything of note can often take time to compose. More importantly right now though is the fact that I can see in the background the excel file which contains a complete record of all of my finances. This is normally a wonderful thing to behold. 3 years of financial history all detailed with cost categories and income types, savings rates and tax calculations. I even have a forecast of where my 'cashflow' should be by the end of 2006. I'm pleased to say that I'm ahead of target 'year to date'. You'd never guess that I work in accounts.

Today though, I can see the horrific slump in my savings account that signifies my moves toward buying a car. Regular readers will have seen me bemoan the ludicrous expense of these necessities before. However, due to recent alterations in my environment, not owning one is no longer a viable option. I'm reconciled to the fact that I need a car, and I've spent a good deal of time contemplating the most efficient method of financing said motor. I know what I'm doing, and I'm probably better prepared than most first time car buyers in terms of having a financial solution in place. The very fact that I can term it a 'financial solution' is almost proof in itself of this.

But that doesn't make it any less depressing seeing the savings I've been scrimping together over the last couple of years disintegrate before my very eyes. Did I mention the graphs on my spreadsheet? Can you imagine the near vertical sloping line crashing depressingly towards the 'next to nothing' marker? What was once a healthy amount of liquid funds is now represented by a graph that more closely resembles the cliffs of Dover.

Great. So I willingly move back towards the soul destroying wastes of poverty, just so that I can be more mobile. I've taken the final step now. I can no longer deny the truth. I am a consumer. I exist solely to toss my disposable income at the corporate machine. The change from 'work to live' to the exact opposite, a world where careful consideration of the bills before any purchase is no longer best practice, but absolute necessity. A vicious circle only broken by those able to promote themselves to the status of 'shareholder', whereby the corporations slowly return your loyal investment.

I fear that my finances are going evolve a staggering complexity over the coming years, and that from someone who zealously oversees every transaction to understand the bigger picture.

I'm broke.

0 message(s) of denial

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