I'm feeling quite good today, but rather than spoil you with an over-indulgent swath of joyous celebration, I have actually found something worthy of comment. That something is credit scoring.

Credit scoring is fucking stupid. If you've lived in your house for less than 3 years, you get marked on credit scoring. If you've asked people to make credit checks on you, you get marked on your credit rating.

Why? Why the fuck does it matter? Why does anything beyond an ability to and a history of paying bills matter the fuck to anyone? I mean, the whole thing around credit checks themselves ruining your credit rating is absolutely absurd!

Consider my position. I'm looking for a loan. The best rates for loans are typically online. Unfortunately, most lenders won't tell you what rate they'll loan you money at until they've run a credit check. So the first loan you check comes back with a rate nowhere near what they advertised. So you move onto the next lender. They run they're credit check, but 'lo, there is already a credit check on my credit profile, which distorts my credit score, so they come back with another shitty rate nowhere near what I'm expecting.

How now am I supposed to get a decent deal when every subsequent inquiry is causing my credit score to go down like a $2 hooker? I mean really, the whole process is geared around maximising the profits of the banking sector, and screwing over the peple who need the money the most. Capitalism's finest hour. Even the companies that provide individuals with access to their own data charge for the priviledge of being able to see it (I think this can be circumvented if you're brave enough to invoke the data protection act, via which any company holding information on you has to provide you with a free copy on request, but these anal twats will probably develop 'administrative complications' and you won't see anything for about 6 months, by which time the need for lending money is obsolete, following your bankruptcy), and they tempt you to pay for this by giving an opportunity to improve your credit score. Well that's great. But given that most of the things they score you down for don't disappear for about 6 years, and can't be removed by any other method, EXACTLY HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO ACHIEVE THIS MYSTICAL AND WONDROUS FEAT OF IMPROVING THEIR RATING SIMPLY BY STARING AT THE TWO SHEETS OF PAPER YOU'VE SENT THEM WHICH COVER NOTHING MORE THAN AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE LOAD OF BARELY LEGIBLE TOSS RELATING TO SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO THAT INDIVIDUAL SO FUCKING LONG AGO IT'S ABOUT AS RELEVANT AS THE AVERAGE DAYTIME TEMPERATURE OF LONDON TO A STUDY OF WHY JAPANESE COLLEGE BOYS SPEND FORTUNES ON WORN PANTIES VENDING MACHINES!

I seriously despair. People probably don't quite understand that the whole system was clearly set up to protect banks from risk, and has evolved into a profitable industry in its own right through deliberately ripping off people so they can find out why the banks are similarly ripping them off, and mocking them by leaving them impotent to do anything about it.

That said, while writing this, I just got off the phone to Alliance and Leicester, and have agreed a low rate loan with them without quibbles (although I did spend ten minutes convincing them that I didn't need insurance on my loan to cover the eventuality of my death. Do I really care who pays it when I'm dead?).

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